Being a part of the FRG....
I've been a part of the FRG off and on since 2003. Honestly, there were times, I just disconnected from it all. If I was going to find out information about deployments, which for me was all I really utilized it for, I would just find out from my husband. Especially since, I was an "out of state" spouse, it was just easier this way. Justin and I had planned a beautiful wedding to be held at Randolph Air force base church/officers club for April 2003. But after a series of events that occured in 2002, our "church wedding" was put on hold for more than a year and we did a jp wedding in Wichita Falls, Tx in Jan. of '03. From 2005-2008, I wasn't too involved because at the time I was working at a Child Development Center and worked crazy hours. Or my husband was assigned to units that were deactivating and not deploying. There were stints of time where my hubby would have to leave with work, but nothing I really felt I needed the frg for. Generally the meetings were held at 430pm and for most "working spouses" that time was very hard to get to a meeting. The one meeting I had gone too, I felt very out of place everyone kept asking...who are you again? I would tell them, I'm so and so's wife and they would be like, who is that. I felt it was because a) I wasn't a regular attendee and b) we had come to the unit 1/2 way through the deployment and bonds had already been made. Our second deployment was the lonliest deployment ever, Christmas that year, I was alone. I lived on the economy, worked crazy hours at work and by the time I would get home was so exhausted I just wanted to shower, eat dinner and go to bed. I had pretty much put my whole life in neutral and coasted until my husband came back home. It was very depressing.
In 2009 that all began to change. I had made a carear change which made my schedule more open and I attended a Thanksgiving potluck. I was completely blown away. The frg leader had walked right up to me, knew my name and expressed how excited she was to meet me and hoped to see me more.....and she meant it! I being kinda shy at first, was quiet, I know, I know...for those who know me, know I LOVE to talk...anyway, other spouses were very sweet and would come talk to me and made me feel very welcome. By the end of the night, we were all laughing, telling stories about vacations we had taken as if we had all known each other forever. As the years past, these few ladies turned into almost ALL of the married spouses who were living in Germany at our duty station, attached to our company. This group of woman became my friends....my FAMILY! I would mark my calendar for our FRG meetings, it was exciting to go and see these amazing ladies. There wasn't gossip, drama, back stabbing. No, belive it or not, when we got together & we asked each other how they were doing, how the kids were doing, etc...we really did care and wanted to know. We laughed, did outings together, bbq's, helped each other out with needed rides to doc appointments, baby sat each others kids. To blow my mind even more our Single Soldiers were just as much a part of our FRG as the married. These guys were awesome! They would play with the kids: being silly, were human jungle jims and just all around very polite and courteous. They new the time and place to "watch the language" ya there were slips, we are all human, but if it happened immediately aplogized. I tell ya, mom's around the world should be proud. They have raised some amazing good hearted men. Anyway, by our 3rd deployment, yes the anxiety, sadness & heavy heart had set in, but not like before. I almost felt guilty for not being devistated that yet another over year deployment was separating us again. I kept asking myself, what is wrong with me? Do I not love him enough? The answer was simple, I did love my husband, very very much...but this time I had the FRG to lean on! These ladies had my back and I had theirs! Now don't get me wrong, I had nights where I would turn over and wish my husband was their, or a holiday would go by and I wished that Justin was here to celebrate or go traveling with me. The first week Justin was gone. I ignored my cell phone, didnt answer my door, stayed in pj's, watched movies and vegged out. I need that time to put myself in neutral, cope and then begin to come back to life :o) So to sum things up, when 1/2 way through this last deployment, they had asked for a volunteer to step up and be the frg leader, the answer was simple for me.....I VOLUNTEERED. How, after these few years of all I was given, could I not. I sincerely enjoyed this group of people so much that I just had too & I wouldn't change that for the world! I'm truly blessed to call myself a part of the BLACKJACK FAMILY!!!!
